Bereavement

Bereavement

The loss of someone close to you can be devastating. Even when the death was expected, the impact cannot be underestimated. We talk about death and loss very little in our day to day lives. It is the one certain thing in life, yet is the one which seems the most difficult to dwell on.

One thing we can say for definite is that bereavement affects people in different ways; there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It might be said, that although bereavement is an experience that we all share, we all share it in our own separate ways. We will all sooner or later suffer the death of a loved one, and have to cope with our loss.

Just as there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is no set time for the grieving process. Just after the death, you may experience feeling shocked or numb, unable to comprehend what has happened. The emotional numbness can help get through all the practicalities required after a death, such a funeral arrangements, or letting others know about the loss.

The numbness may then give way to yearning for the person who has died, a sense of panic or agitation that the person is not there. Around this time, the bereaved person may experience difficult dreams or thoughts of their loved one. There may be anger at the person who has died, and left everyone else here to face the loss. There might be relief, especially if the loss comes after a traumatic illness. All of these emotions are difficult to manage and can cause great disturbance in our lives. We might feel overwhelmed, unable to cope, upset at the smallest of things, or because suddenly you realise one more thing will be different because your loved one is no longer with you in this life.

I think sometimes that grief is like the tide, which ebbs and flows and comes and goes. Sometimes the waves come crashing down, and it all seems too difficult, and at other times it is just there on the horizon, making you feel sad, and tearful, but able to manage. The feelings come in no particular order, and there is no set way it will be.

Having the space to think about your loss, cry for your loved one and express how you feel can all help in the process of grieving. Coming to terms with the world with your loved one no longer in it with you is usually thought to be the most important and the most difficult task of grief work.

Grief that is unresolved can lead to other difficulties. This can happen if you do not find the space you need to grieve, or life means that it is impossible to do anything other than just get on with life. You might have a family who needs your help. It might be that the bereavement does not seem real somehow. The loss might be that of the miscarriage or stillbirth of a much loved and longed for baby. You might get stuck in your grief, unable to move forward. Depression might also be a possibility.

Counselling can offer the time and space and help that you need to share how you feel after the loss of a loved one, a place where you can talk and the counsellor will listen, or just be with you as you mourn. In counselling you can learn to adjust to a world that is now different, and understand the ways in which you are changed, or different, and where you can learn to acknowledge your loss and find acceptance.

Fees for 2016/17

  • Initial assessment - £35
    Face to Face individual counselling - £45
    Telephone counselling - £35
    Concessions - £35
  • Sessions can be booked within business hours, as well as selected evenings and Saturday appointments. All sessions last for 50 minutes.
  • Cancellation Policy
    If you need to cancel an appointment, 24 hours notice is required. If you are unable to provide this notice then the session will be charged in full.